Wednesday, November 2, 2011

For the ones living for the night

I'm living

but I used to be barely living

so I've made some progress for now, I think.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Quills are made to be there
and quills are made to be broken

Dark moods swaying over the landscape
rolling in like thunder
I do my best
but it isn't much
maybe somewhere sometime a life is possible for me

time to get a grip
time to dissolve in the current of life again
time to live

but the dark side is there.
the dark side remains there
but thank you for the gift of life
I might even enjoy it.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The lefties won on all major administrative elections in Italy! :-)

Life is just a trap waiting for you to risk yourself but once you're caught there is no way out. A viral motion sucking you into time that dissolves as if it never existed but we don't give up, ever, while it keeps raining, while the angels keep weeping and little could sooth me as if I would have found paradise ... for now I found my paradise. I'm happy to be alive.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

"Some days I feel like my shadow is casting me"

For those who would be looking for me

I'm not there anymore

In case you are doubting:

I found something better

Or better yet someone better.

Not to judge the past

Not to judge a person

I loved what I had

at the time when I had it

But I wasn't happy.

Now you can say what you want

I'm just not there anymore.

Somebody who loves me

for who I am

is rare these days.

And I know how to value it,

Which can't be said of all.

This doesn't mean I don't feel affection

to those near to me

but love replaced sentiments

of misguided and more importantly

unbalanced relationships.

I love you all,

but there is only one that deserves to be loved fully back.

p.s. for those who like me writing dark, I know, but you never can help the inspiration of the moment.

Alone in your head

You were there when the sun shined in our faces

when the day laught us ahead

Until the dark clouds started gathering

pretending evil days weren't coming instead

But where were you when the sky started crying

when the drops of rain rolled down our faces?

You wanted a utopian world

where everything always was going to be alright.

Reality was different

and you broke like a twig.

I was there for you

While a 'you are not alone in this'

or an 'everything passes' would have done some trick.

But as they say ... if all else fails you can still whip the horse's eye ... until the horse breaks free.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Artistic Ability and Mental Problems: Is There A Link? (guestpost by Louise Baker!)

Artistic Ability and Mental Problems: Is There A Link?

Evidence has supported the claim that there is in fact a link between creativity and certain types of mental disorders for hundreds of years. The specific relationship between the two is apparent when you examine what mental disorders have in common with creativity. It is necessary for an individual to view things abnormally in order to possess creative qualities. Abnormally thinking about things is a very common occurrence for a person showing signs of psychopathological or neurological disorders.

There a wide variety of mental disorders that are known to somehow be connected with creativity. Some of the most common disorders known to make patients show an increased propensity toward creativity include:

* Autism
* Dementia
* Bipolar Disorder
* Epilepsy
* Depression

Hundreds of years of history and literature have painted a clear picture, illuminating the similarities between extremely creative and mentally ill individuals. One of the most famous examples of a mentally ill person being extremely creative and intellectually gifted was Albert Einstein. Einstein’s unique gifts were directly related to a barrage of mental illnesses, which include developmental language and dyslexia disorders. Most consider Einstein’s creativity and extremely high levels of intelligence to be somehow directly linked with his mental disorders, although the direct mechanism thought responsible for the similarities is not known.

One of the most widely accepted scientific studies within the scientific community took place during 1949, and provided evidence that individuals with a natural predisposition towards bipolar disorder also tend to be naturally predisposed to creativity. The study’s findings provided evidence that two-thirds of the studied artists, writers, composers, architects and their families were normal. However, the study concluded that overall the group as a whole had a significantly higher percentage of individuals showing signs of mental disorders, when compared to the general public.

The group studied had a high percentage of individuals that could be classified as neurotic, and even insane. The experiment provided results supporting the facts that around fifty percent of the poets studied and about forty percent of the musicians studied had some kind of psychiatric abnormality. When it comes down to it, ADD/ADHD, dementia, autism and bipolar disorder all seem to be somehow directly linked to creativity by the similar qualities bf both.

Many of history’s most well respected writers suffered from the mental disorder epilepsy, including Fyodor Dostoevsky and Edgar Allen Poe. The link between the two is not exactly known, but there is some evidence supporting the idea that increased levels of creativity develop hand in hand with the onset of the disorder. Many scientists believe that the increased levels of creativity are somehow connected with how the human brain reacts to the onset of mental diseases.

Louise Baker is a freelance blogger who usually writes about accredited online colleges for Zen College Life. Her most recent article ranked engineering degrees.

Sunday, February 6, 2011


He thought life was easy until he met you.
With your vicious ways, your swirling hair and your radiant smile.
All a man could want, all he could desire.

And just that touch of strange
Mad like a clown
To sway his mind
like a siren sways a ship.

But you refused, his offer didn't lure
His heart was all he could give
His love was not enough.

PS It must have hurt like hell.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


I've done the math, it didn't count.

All the days and years of endless boredom. Of waiting for the next best thing, trapped inside your mind like a lifetime prison sentence. Maybe one day we'll be free, maybe one day we won't feel so oppressed. But when does that day come? Tell me ...

As a kid I enjoyed life, with an endless imagination, dreaming away to far off places and far off worlds. A place to hide, a place to be free. Where your mind can whirl into the strands of life's enjoyment, into the best thing. Instead of having to settle for the rest. But when you're young it's called 'imaginative', when you're an adult they often call it 'psychosis'.

What if that ultimate reward they always promise you doesn't come? What if life just really sucks like it actually does? No wonder the depression struck.

But I had my reward, so I've accepted those years of suffering. But I can't help wondering: what if? How do people handle it, how can they handle it, if that reward doesn't show up? I've only accepted, because I had my damn reward. What about you?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Struggle for Life


Another morning ritual. Trying to fill the loose ends of time in the early morning is a task.


I've done about everything, too early to work and too late to go back to sleep.


Trying to avoid the nausea of life at all cost. My mind is a snakepit, filled with holes.


Trip, fall ... those damned memory traps.


A second of a glimpse is enough, the hole became my home for another lifetime of a minute, less than a minute?


No. A minute. But I should be happy, I know I should. This is one of the happiest periods in my whole life. I should be happy ...


I am happy